Yaounde a capital lost in trash
The new Akwaya From Bokwango, Ambazonia
Buea – June 30, 2025
Yaoundé now stinks of denial. Douala reeks of dysfunction. Once hailed as the pride of La République du Cameroun, these two cities have earned a new title among the people: “Shit Cities.” And rightly so.
These urban centers, once considered the symbols of central authority, have collapsed under the weight of incompetence, over-centralization, and a bottomless pit of corruption. As the Bulu-Beti regime pumps billions into the failed project of assimilating Ambazonians, its own capital cities drown in filth — both literal and moral.
Operation Assimilation: Flushed Down the Drain
The master plan? Use every franc CFA to erase Ambazonian identity through bribes, bullets, and borrowed speeches. The outcome? A full-blown plumbing disaster of a state.
While Ambazonians build classrooms from community offerings, Douala floods from broken drains and Yaoundé holds “unity” rallies in mosquito-infested stadiums. Funds meant for development are redirected to Canadian peace pantomimes and phantom NGOs.
And all the while, Paul Biya—Cameroon’s absentee landlord—flies off on luxury charters, leaving his people to fish out drinking water from potholes.
Capital Cities or Capital Latrines?
Golden toilets for ministers. Leaking roofs for schools.
In Yaoundé, one of the most expensive public toilets in Central Africa was inaugurated last month with pomp, ribbon-cutting, and no functioning flush. It cost more than an entire rural hospital. The Minister for Hygiene hailed it as “a monument to national dignity.”
The irony? It sits just 200 meters from a slum where children defecate in plastic bags and toss them into drainage canals. Welcome to Paul Biya’s architectural legacy.
Tribal Kleptocracy Meets Urban Karma
The Bulu-Beti oligarchy—blessed with inflated egos and deflated ethics—has finally run out of excuses.
The roads are crumbling. The hospitals are cemeteries with IV drips. Power cuts are daily reminders that even electricity is in exile.
But instead of reform, they double down. Ambazonians who escaped burning villages now see TV ads calling for unity from air-conditioned studios in Douala — where rats now campaign for clean-up funds.
History Has Its Repeats
France, too, once overreached. King Louis XIV lavished himself with fountains and concubines while France fought Britain in North America. The cost of his extravagance? Bankruptcy, humiliation, and the infamous Louisiana Purchase — where France sold nearly a third of future U.S. territory for a mere $16 million.
But at least France had real assets to sell.
La République du Cameroun, on the other hand, has only Chantal Biya — with her gravity-defying wigs and tabloid-caliber mischief — who reportedly makes the rounds with Biya’s aides while the president snores and drools on state furniture.
And while France cashed in land, Biya cashes out Cameroon. He racks up multimillion-dollar bills at Geneva’s Intercontinental Hotel and burns public funds on global jet-hopping. All this while living beside a mountain of garbage is now considered a step up for the average Cameroonian.
This tragedy traces back to the unholy 1961 alliance between French colonial power and Beti ambition — sealed not only with ink and treaties, but with the exchange of women, French working girls, and young boys used as “friendly ports” for adulterous escapades. That’s the moral foundation of the so-called union.
A foundation now caving in — like the pavements of Yaoundé during rainy season.
A Warning From History
In 1884, Germany built railroads. In 2025, Biya builds photo ops.
The colonial capital cries for decolonization — again.
While the Bastos elite sip champagne and wait for French visas, Cameroonians queue up for expired sardines, typhoid vaccines, and witch doctor advice. The promise of national unity now smells worse than the gutters of Mokolo after rain.
The INDEPENDENTIST NEWS
Satirical Column | By The New Akwaya in Bokwango Buea
Text your stories to: whatsap +237 697889553
